WALKING WITH JESUS MINISTRIES
'GROWING BELIEVERS INTO DISCIPLES, UNITED
IN CHRIST, REFLECTING JESUS TO THE WORLD'
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283. Pastoral Candidates
The following is a confidential report on several candidates being considered for a pastorate.
ADAM: Good man but problems with his wife. Also one reference told of how his wife and he enjoy walking nude in the woods.
NOAH: Former pastorate of 120 years with not even one convert. Prone to unrealistic building projects.
ABRAHAM: Though the references reported wife-swapping, the facts seem to show he never slept with another man's wife, but did offer to share his own wife with another man.
JOSEPH: A big thinker, but a braggart, believes in dream-interpreting, and has a prison record.
MOSES: A modest and meek man, but poor communicator, even stuttering at times. Sometimes blows his stack and acts rashly. Some say he left an earlier church over a murder charge.
DAVID: The most promising leader of all until we discovered the affair he had with his neighbor's wife.
SOLOMON: Great preacher but our parsonage would never hold all those wives.
ELIJAH: Prone to depression. Collapses under pressure.
ELISHA: Reported to have lived with a single widow while at his former church.
HOSEA: A tender and loving pastor but our people could never handle his wife's occupation.
DEBORAH: Strong leader and seems to be anointed, but she is female.
JEREMIAH: Emotionally unstable, alarmist, negative, always lamenting things, reported to have taken a long trip to bury his underwear on the bank of a foreign river.
JONAH: Refused God's call into ministry until he was forced to obey by getting swallowed up by a great fish. He told us the fish later spit him out on the shore near here. We hung up.
AMOS: Too backward and unpolished. With some seminary training he might have promise, but has a hang-up against wealthy people--might fit in better in a poor congregation. |
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General
Enquiries and Comments: laugh@wwj.org.nz
Check
out the WWJ website for….
More
Jokes: www.wwj.org.nz/laugh.php
Eagles Fly High! (Pastors, Teachers and Students): http://www.wwj.org.nz/eaglepts.php
God Facts (A mine of information): http://www.wwj.org.nz/gfacts.php
Facts for Fun: http://www.wwj.org.nz/facts.php
Marriage and Family Facts: http://www.wwj.org.nz/maffacts.php
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| © Walking
With Jesus Ministries Charitable Trust: As
this material is freely received, use is freely given, indeed encouraged,
for non-commercial purposes. Acknowledgement of the source is always appreciated. |
