WALKING WITH JESUS MINISTRIES
'GROWING BELIEVERS INTO DISCIPLES, UNITED
IN CHRIST, REFLECTING JESUS TO THE WORLD'
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332. Sunday School Bloopers Some bloopers of biblical proportions written by Sunday School students.
* In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
* Adam & Eve were created from an apple tree.
* Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
* Noah built the ark, which the animals came on in pears.
* Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
* Sampson slated the Philistines with the axe of apostles.
* Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.
* The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.
* Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
* The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
* The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father.
* The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not ADMIT adultery.
* Moses died before he ever reached the UK. Then, Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol.
* The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
* David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the biblical times.
* Solomon, one of David's sons, has 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
* When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
* When the three wise guys from the East Side arrived, they found Jesus and the manager.
* St. John, the Blacksmith, dumped water on his head.
* Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you.
* He also explained, "Man doth not live by sweat alone."
* The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
* The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
* One of the opossums was St. Matthew, who was by profession a taximan.
* St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
* A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony. |
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