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Last week I indicated I would share my testimony on the struggles I have had with trying to lead in the style of Jesus. This week, a little background to place things in perspective, warts and all!

Before we start you should know that, in the natural, I was highly motivated, ambitious, self confident and successful in most things I put my hand to.

God had to break me of this! He did! I became a bankrupt, not once but twice. In the first bankruptcy I found Jesus, while in the second, I got more deeply into Him.

About 3 years after becoming a Christian I was literally working in the fields amongst my flower crops (sounds romantic but actually a lot of hard work!) when Jesus spoke with me and asked me to start this ministry. He gave me the name, not 'David Tait Ministries' as would have been my natural inclination, following in the footsteps of many other eminent leaders, but rather, 'Walking With Jesus Ministries'. You see, He knew far more about what He wanted to teach me than I did!

WWJ, as a para-church ministry, reaching out to all, rather than being ensconced in a particular denomination, has had the 'advantage' of being 'kept humble' by the leaders of churches and denominations who don't understand what such organisations are called to do. This experience is shared by many others in similar ministries.

At first, the ministry was very successful. The 'Walking With Jesus' discipleship course was written by the Holy Spirit, with an ignorant, new Christian me, simply holding the pen! WWJ COURSE DOWNLOADABLE HERE Around 10,000 people did the course which was amazing in a small country like New Zealand, with an even smaller Christian population.

No, I didn't become famous! But I had success beyond my 'Christian age'. At the completion of writing the course, I conducted some evangelistic meetings, the last of which in particular, the Holy Spirit attended very powerfully. It was a realm way outside of my experience. Added to that was extreme criticism from leadership, killing public ministry for 5 years. From up to down in an instant, even to the extent of thinking about taking my life. All topped off with my second bankruptcy towards the end of this time. How the mighty had fallen!

Through this difficult time, the Lord was teaching me to rely more upon Him. I had to learn (and am still learning) that He is everything and I am nothing! To many readers, maybe even to you, this will sound wrong. For surely, the Lord builds us up! That is what we are taught in so many programs and doctrines. But I am sorry, these teachings are just worldly 'life success' principles applied to the church situation.

We are actually called to do the opposite to what the world teaches!

Throughout this time I had to learn the lessons of my experiences by getting deeper into Jesus, in order to start developing His attributes and attitudes, which are just so different to those of the world.

It is easy to acknowledge servant-hood, obedience and humility in theory, but oh so difficult to truly put them into practice! For I, too often, have the same experience as Paul:

Women are 'relational', men, 'task' orientated. Women understand the 'intangible' while men desire the 'tangible'. Women relate more easily to God than men. The simple reason why churches worldwide are two-thirds women.

When the Lord asked me to start Walking With Jesus Ministries, to build His end time church, my natural thought patterns as a man, were that it would encompass something in the natural as well as the spiritual.

However, over the years of my wilderness training of the Lord, He changed my whole way of thinking. He showed me, often kicking and screaming in my male motivation thought patterns, that the coming 'kingdom age', is to be different to 'church age' it is superseding.

There is something in us men that likes building empires, yearns for titles and position, and desires formal programs where we can be seen to be doing, in a logical way, what God has called us to do. Thus we build church buildings, allocate ourselves titles, and work out the most effective way to 'win the lost'. All of which follow the pattern of the Old Testament, but none of which are found in the New!

We men have very much the same attitude as the Pharisees, operating under Old Testament understanding and male motivation, who were also looking for a physical kingdom.

As I came out of my wilderness period, I received invitations to travel to Africa and Asia. Here came a real test for me.

For, as I travelled, I was expected to act in the way of the traditional understanding of the people I visited. In Africa particularly, life is larger than life! A continent of extremes - extremely wonderful and colourful and extremely bad and sad.

Here was this ordinary man from New Zealand who didn't dress up in a suit and tie, who only wanted to be known as David, who wasn't wanting to encourage people to join his organisation that would undoubtedly bring the world to Christ, or more extreme, to be the only group that would get to heaven.

What a surprise for them and a test for me! It was very tempting to join the accepted system! My 'best' introduction was the 'Rev. Dr. Bishop David Tait, JPG'. I could not work out what qualification 'JPG' was. Eventually, inspiration came! I had forwarded my photo in a jpeg file format, davidtait.jpg!

I was offered bishops robes to wear.

I was constantly besieged by people wanting to join my organisation, to form a new denomination. I was offered the title of a church building worth $US1,000,000.

To my natural man, all these things were hugely desirable. Particularly after having come through a time of wilderness! 'You can show all those who criticised you, who was right (revenge). You can build your own headquarters (for I have never wanted a church!), you can be spiritual father to all these people (power and control),' tempted satan.

Finally, I remembered the temptation of Jesus!

I remembered my role. Not to build 'my kingdom' but 'God's kingdom'.

The defining difference between the two kingdoms is, 'Who is boss?'

Every church leader will say that God, or Jesus, or the Holy Spirit, is his boss. But instead, we mostly build earthly kingdoms founded on the best of intentions, often run by very godly people. A hierarchy develops and we end up spending more time in administration than in seeking the will of God. This is the reality of the church age.

I understand that you may well feel I am being idealistic, but the message of the kingdom is that God desires to personally guide all those who have come into his kingdom through the sacrifice of Jesus, by the Holy Spirit, to do His will upon the earth.

We are even asked to pray for it, all the time!

As the years pass, there is arising a greater dissatisfaction with the status quo within the church system from those who are seeking a deeper relationship with Jesus.

The bride is starting to arise! A new generation prepared to fully submit their lives to the will of the Father, through the guidance of the Holy Spirit, in preparation for the return of Jesus.

Come Jesus, come.

... with a brief look at servant leadership.

How to avoid setting up our own kingdom instead of God's, has been a huge challenge for church leadership through the ages.

Gradually there is a shift in paradigm developing amongst more people that it is the kingdom that is first and foremost, and the church's role is to bring that about, rather than the church being an end in itself.

Extra-Biblical Historical Evidence for the LIFE, DEATH, and RESURRECTION of JESUS

ANCIENT CHRISTIAN SOURCES
(extra-biblical)

Justin Martyr, to Emperor Antoninus Pius about 150 AD:
After referring to Jesus's birth of a virgin in the town of Bethlehem, and that His physical line of descent came through the tribe of Judah and the family of Jesse, Justin wrote, "Now there is a village in the land of the Jews, thirty-five stadia from Jerusalem, in which Jesus Christ was born, as you can ascertain also from the registers of the taxing made under Cyrenius, your first procurator in Judea."
"Accordingly, after He was crucified, even all His acquaintances forsook Him, having denied Him; and afterwards, when He had risen from the dead and appeared to them, and had taught them to read the prophecies in which all these things were foretold as coming to pass, and when they had seen Him ascending into heaven, and had believed, and had received power sent thence by Him upon them, and went to every race of men, they taught these things, and were called apostles."

Justin Martyr, in Dialogue with Trypho, around 150 AD:
"For at the time of His birth, Magi who came from Arabia worshipped Him, coming first to Herod, who then was sovereign in your land."
"For when they crucified Him, driving in the nails, they pierced His hands and feet; and those who crucified Him parted His garments among themselves, each casting lots for what he chose to have, and receiving according to the decision of the lot."
"Christ said amongst you that He would give the sign of Jonah, exhorting you to repent of your wicked deeds at least after He rose again from the dead ... yet you not only have not repented, after you learned that He rose from the dead, but, as I said before, you have sent chosen and ordained men throughout all the world to proclaim that 'a godless and lawless heresy had sprung from one Jesus, a Galilean deceiver, whom we crucified, but His disciples stole Him by night from the tomb, where He was laid when unfastened from the cross, and now deceive men by asserting that He has risen from the dead and ascended to heaven.'"
"For indeed the Lord remained upon the tree almost until evening, and they buried Him at eventide; then on the third day He rose again."